Having to create a speech for my mom's funeral got me thinking about what I hope my daughter will say at my funeral. Preparing a eulogy for your parent's funeral is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. But what’s harder? Actually standing up and reading it without breaking into tears.

No one wants to prepare the eulogy for a loved one. Sadly, I’ve sat in a room, alone, thinking of all the things I needed to say. Nothing was enough. Nothing was right. Nothing was easy. And I’ve had to do it twice.

However, when I started writing my mom's eulogy, it just flowed. I didn’t need to edit or rewrite it. I actually used the voice to text feature on my phone to write it out. It felt real, authentic, and inspiring. Just like how she felt to me.

Fast forward to that day. I had already cried for days, and I thought I was all dried up. But as my name was announced to come forward, I started to feel the tears again. When it was time to walk up to the podium and adjust the microphone, I prayed and asked for her to give me strength… and that’s just what she did. I stepped up, stood tall and made it through.

Here is my speech. If you want the full effect, listen to the audio below from the actual service. It’s more powerful when you can listen.

Mom's Eulogy

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My Eulogy for My Mom's Funeral

My momma.

Wow, and my Mom thought she didn't have an impact on anyone’s life.

I’m reading a book called “Becoming the Woman God Wants You to Be.” It’s all about Proverbs 31 and the wife of noble character.

Let me read it to you. It is in your service paper, if you would like to silently read along.

Proverbs 31 10:31
A Wife of Noble Character
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.
She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
{CREDIT: Holy Bible, New Living Translation copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois, 60188. All rights reserved.}

There is no perfect woman. My Mom wasn’t perfect. Eve wasn’t even perfect. But today, on a day of celebrating her life, I’d like to talk to you about her last years and in that time, how she became the woman God wanted her to be.

She was a committed and faithful wife to Ken, and she walked closer to the Lord with him by her side the last years of her life. Let me give a few examples of just who she was…

Verse:
“with her earnings she plants a vineyard.”
“and opens her arms to the needy.”

She had a magnificent garden, most of which she canned and gave to family, friends, and the church.

Verse:
“She makes her own bedspreads.”
“Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.”
“…her lamp burns late into the night.”

She enjoyed sewing, quilting, and making costumes- anything to make others smile. She would make things at all hours of the night. It gave her so much joy to give things to us.

Verse:
“She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household”

She always had food prepared for us. And it was GOOD!

She was the heart of our family. She arranged family reunions and games like find pennies, treasure hunts and following strings. She loved to travel to see family. Like my sisters mentioned already, we were always on road trips to see family. That was the woman she was.

And for 9 years after the death of my Daddy, she prayed and prayed that I would come to find the Lord. And her prayers were answered. Here I stand at my Mom's funeral service with a whole new perspective on death and life. I have peace about where she is. A comfort I will see her again. And that is what will get me through these next days, weeks and years of our loss.

This time, I will have a journal and write down memories, songs, dreams, times I want to talk to her, things that remind me of her, and words that remind me of her.

In just a minute, I’m going to ask you to think of a word or words that make you think or remind you of my momma.

Anything.

In just a second, I want you to just blurt them out and be loud so she and the all of us can hear you. Do not be shy. We are sharing with her the impact she had on our lives.

I will start.

Momma. Family. Board games. A REALLY heavy purse, Patience, Seeds

The rest of them shout out words: loving, funny, heavy purse, caring….

Thank you for sharing. THAT is the impact she made on OUR lives. THAT is what becoming the woman GOD wants you to be is about. And if I can become half the wife and Momma to my family that she was to me, then I think I’ve glorified God, and He will be pretty proud of me.

I would like to end with a short story. The other night I couldn’t sleep, so I was talking to my Momma. I was crying.

I just wanted her to hold me. To take my pain away.

She talked to me with a smile and laughed. She said “It’s beautiful up here Tiff! It’s amazing,” and she kept smiling. I didn’t understand why she wasn’t crying with me. Then I woke up to a verse my friend shared.

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

That's what my Momma gets to experience now. That's why there are no tears.

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It was hard to stand up and share this at her funeral, but I knew others needed to hear it to be comforted as much as I did.

Being a mom, we often feel that what we do doesn't matter or is not significant enough to make us “important”. When in fact, it's these exact hobbies, interests, and passions that make us who we are! These things we do because we enjoy them, they will give our children the opportunity to carry on our family legacy.

The little things we do…matter, Mama! They matter to our kids now and especially after we are gone. They make us, us. They give us a legacy to leave.  Those times we take for ourselves to do the things we enjoy….they are who we are and who we will be remembered as. You have permission to be someone who has a hobby!  As a matter of fact, YOU MUST! Your Legacy depends on it!

I can only hope that one day my daughter will be able to say the same things at my funeral…a long time from now, God willing!

Have you thought about the legacy you’re leaving behind? Are you living up to what you want people to remember you for?

I want you to really think and answer this question: “What do you want people to say about you when that day comes?” Comment below with your answer.

…Now go live that life and find that passion!

XO,

Tiffanie